This photo was take in 1981. It is of me and my three cousins. I was 2 years old. That was 31 years ago, is that even possible? The other day when I was running, “Today” was on the radio, by Smashing Pumpkins. It instantly reminded me of being 14, getting The Siamese Dream album for one of my Christmas presents and Germany encountering the worse flood, from the Rhein River, it had had in years.
I thought as I ran, wow, I can’t believe that was 9 years ago, and then ran a bit further to realize, no, Jamie, that was 19 years ago.
It is sentimental seeing my cousins like this, because this is how I remember them most. This was when we lived on the Island and as soon as we moved away, we didn’t see each other as much, and before long, my family moved to Europe and time just continued to slip further away. There is a connection between families that remains untouchable. Only the untouchable are able to feel it. It is ancestral history, carved in our DNA, a link, a bond, a graphing that can’t be escaped. I miss these early years of my childhood. It entailed many days on the beach, nights by bon-fire, and playing with our black wolf- dog, Yogi. My heart only knew what my eyes could see and invisible to my eyes, my naked heart remains challenged by time.
I have had no time whatsoever to make granola. This morning, because I am all out, I added chopped dried cranberries, a hand full of toasted pumpkin seeds, and a few chopped roasted and salted pecans to my flax flakes. It did the trick for now, but later today I will have the granola made. Last night we went to a cool little cajun restaurant in the city. We picked up sister Jojo and then Michelle. Michelle and I have been friends for over 15 years, which is crazy, because I sometimes feel as though I am still15, again, just sometimes, not always! 1 asked me the other day when she will be 21 and I told her in 16 years. Oh 21, it put a smile on my face, not because it was such a good year, in fact, I was miserably depressed then, but 21 seems so young…then I did the math of how old I will be in 16 years and I was hit with panic. I am getting old. Flashbacks to the dermatologist entered my mind, the cares of twenties, the worries of thirties, now forties? Perhaps mature seems a more fitted word, but it seems with every year comes new responsibilities. Maybe this is my issue. I sometimes feel so overly responsible as it is, to have more responsibilities placed on me, can I handle it? Well, I am not going to let it consume me. I am going to stay focused on the year I am now instead of the year I am not.
Here are a couple of shots from last night. Michelle had a hot Caribbean Chicken dish, I had jambalaya, Sean had a beef dish, and Jojo had ribs.